Sometimes That's All That Matters


Last week started with being run off the road, with foggy windows, hitting a cement barrier and catching a flat tire. All before 8:00 a.m.

It ended 23 presentations, a broken nail and a new tire later. It ended with bags under my eyes and not enough hours to get anything else done. It ended with a few tears and a few glasses of wine. My mornings were early and evenings, late. I used every minute of every hour either presenting to people or traveling to present to people. And when I wasn't physically doing that, I was thinking of the next way to present. The next place to present at. The next topic to present on. In and out of the car. In and out of buildings. In and out I put the materials of the box that I carried to the 23 presentations I managed to do in the past two weeks.

The whispers of positivity I used to pry myself from bed at 7:00 am, turned to yells of frustration. My tired hopeful eyes turned hopeless as I trekked out to receive the same bit of disinterest, attitude and rejection. I wasn't at all used to this, and it's not at all what I signed up for. I had no time to eat, breathe or workout. I had no time to do the other 100 daunting tasks filling the whiteboard of my cubicle, nor respond to any of the papers piling on my desk. 

I quit 4 times to 4 different people. I was the recipient of "I'm proud of you" texts messages and "it's almost over" reminders. But none of rinsed my spirit of the defeat it felt by the end of the first week. None of it empowered me to keep pushing for the remaining 12 presentations for the following week. 

It was terrible. It was draining. It was painful. It was grueling. It was everything I prayed against. It was everything I didn't have time for and did not want to do. It was everything that caused my sanity to wither. 

But it is over. I completed the dreadful assignment. I did what I had to do. I woke up early and stayed up late. I did my best. I fought through my desire to give up. I resisted the urge to call it quits. I made it through. And, sometimes that's all that matters. 

As we remember our past and where we've journeyed from, we must stop focusing on the bad experiences, and instead focus on the fact that we've made it through. We must highlight our new found strength and resilience. We must choose to acknowledge our ability to make it through that of which we never thought we could. Because in hindsight, that is truly all that matters. 

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