Dear Grace: An Ode to Making it Through


Dear Grace, 

I’ve been watching everyone talk foul about you. They're saying you've been absent this year. They’re posting about how you’ve done nothing for them and how challenging this year has been. They’re speaking as if you left their passenger seats cold on this ride that is 2016. But they have no idea what it would've been like without you. They’d prefer to share their sadness than give you credit for allowing them to experience the many, some seemingly unbearable, changes; for allowing them to simply make it through them. I’m shocked at all the foul words they mouth to describe what you’ve done for them—most suggesting nothing. 

They don’t recognize the favor you bestowed upon their life. They don’t understand that it was unmerited. That you didn’t have to do it. They don’t get that they’ve done absolutely nothing to receive it from you—and that without you, they wouldn’t even be here to complain about it. They wouldn’t be able to count down the days or the hours to the next year they’re rushing to, had you not kept them. 

The fact that they made it here proves you’re still present. It proves you’ve been just as close to them as you’ve always been. Tightly clenching their coat tails. It proves that your power still reigns, despite how often you’ve been dismissed and unappreciated. 

It's easy to complain about the trials of this year. To recall the phone calls about health problems of loved ones. To talk about the great failures and heavy burdens. To recount the pain of healing. But I owe you more than that. I owe you more than talking about the bad stuff. More than dedicating my last post of 2016 to the things I'd gone through. I owe you more than a post dedicated toward rushing to a new year. Because this year, I felt you. I felt you rub the small of my back with each tear I cried. I felt you rock me to sleep on the nights I didn't want to wake. I felt you put laughter in my heart before anger and hatred manifested. 

Grace, despite popular belief, I know you were with me. You protected me. Coddled me. Held me. Cleansed me. Kept me. Saved me. 

I have always acknowledged and welcomed you—with open arms and a wide grin. This year has been hard, but I can’t even imagine how much harder it could have been had you not been here holding my hand along the way. Had you not been unselfishly correcting my human errors. 

I thank you for all you’ve done. All the times you’ve forgiven me. All the times you’ve proven your dedication to me. All the times you’ve comforted me in your warm arms, during the toughest moments of this year—through medical diagnoses and moments of what-the-hell-do-I-do-now. You rubbed my hair as I laid there helpless. You also made sure I enjoyed my moments. From my very first event to the most amazing trip to Aruba. You remained with me. You helped me. You clutched me tightly as to not slip or fall, through any of 2016’s days. 

Grace, as trying as this year has been, I can’t help but thank you. I can’t help but cry out your name, and that of your deliverer: God. I can’t help but praise you for the places you’ve taken me and the ones you’ve taken me from—the people, places, and things you've grabbed me out of. Because, Grace, without you I wouldn’t have made it. 

So as I dedicate the last hours of this year to appreciating all that has happened in these past 366 days, I merely ask that you join me in the next. The next set of trying moments and amazing harvests. The next 365 days of ups, downs, and in-betweens. I owe you. I owe you this day, and I owe you next year. So thank you, Grace. For all you've done in 2016, and all you will do in 2017. 

See you then.


Your friend Z 

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