Lessons Marriage Taught Me (Whitney Cason)


This year I will be celebrating my fifth year of marriage. Next year will be my tenth year of being with my husband altogether. I never thought I would find one person I could see myself with for the rest of my life; but despite the things we have been through, there is no one else in this world I could see myself going through this life with. 

One valuable lesson I can say I have learned in my relationship, and my experience in loving this man, is that love is not meant for those not willing to fight for it. Being in love is one of the toughest things I've endured. Love is unpredictable; it isn’t something that can be easily managed or maintained. It is the most complex emotion you can deal with, but it reaps some of the greatest rewards.

My love for my husband has not been perfect. We have been through hell and back over the years, but through it all, we continue to stand tall and weather the storms and come out stronger than before. We have a beautiful daughter together, and we constantly remind each other why we are married to one another. For all the tough times love puts you through, the beautiful times are just as plentiful. 

One thing we have had to do especially as a young married couple is keep God first in our marriage. It is important to continue to keep your marriage spiritually aligned with God, and if you can do that, He will not steer your wrong. My husband and I try daily to pray not only for ourselves and our family but especially for each other and the strength of our marriage.

Learning from my past relationships helped me to learn more about who I needed to be for my partner and what I needed in a relationship. Throughout the years of my husband and I being together, we literally had to grow up together. We experienced life and matured together. And through that process of becoming who we are as individuals, we learned how to beceme who we are as husband and wife. We had to learn together how to love one another and be better spouses to each other.

I learned that being open and honest about your expectations should be a priority in marriage. Going into that serious of a commitment without understanding your spouse’s expectations can lead to trust issues and miscommunication. Also, learning that expectations often change as you grow into your marriage, and you must communicate that with your spouse. Communication is key in any level of relationship. Without communication, a relationship cannot succeed.

If I could pass on any piece of encouragement as it pertains to relationships it would be this: be honest in your relationship. Be intentional in your feelings and your desires with someone’s heart. If you want to be with someone, let it be known and put forth the effort it takes to be with that person, but if you are not happy or do not want to be with that person, then let them go and give them the opportunity to find the happiness and love they seek, with someone who is willing to provide that to them. It is unfair to hold on to someone for the simple act of holding on to them, when you have no intention of doing right by their heart.

Love is something I have learned a lot about through my marriage. Six years ago, I made the choice to spend the rest of my life with the man I loved. I chose to make a commitment to love him despite his flaws — for better or for worse. You will experience some of those ‘worse’ moments, but ‘better’ will also come; and it will make it all worth the fight...worth the work...and worth the growth. 


Whitney Cason is a young and vibrant writer of fiction, poetry and short stories.  She began blogging in early 2015 and currently maintains her own blog site, Write, Live and Love.  She is a recent two-time published author.  She currently works in the field of social work and lives in Hinesville, Georgia. with her husband Brandon, and her daughter, Kynnedy.

Whitney enjoys reading, writing, listening to music and spending quality time with her closest family and friends. Whitney Cason is also the creator of her own blog, writeliveandlove.com.

Honoring the collective voice of womanhood, the Lessons From Love series was created to provide a community of support for women currently in love, or healing from love. The series will use personal narratives + testimonies to empower women to make effective dating decisions and to pursue the love they rightly deserve. 

If you're interested in being a last minute contributor, submit your 700-1000 word piece to z@dearqueens.com. Please include your name, website (if applicable), and brief bio.

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