I didn’t grow up in church. I didn’t have familial guidance during my pursuit to kingdom living. I didn’t know the first place to go or the first scripture to read; I started my journey from scratch.
All I had was myself, God, and Rick Warren’s ‘A Purpose Driven Life’. Admittedly, that’s all I needed.
When I made the decision to change my life - starting with my spirit - I stuck with it. I watched myself, and my life, completely transform. And while I wasn’t sure what to expect, I certainly wanted to find out where this was going.
Each day was a task. Some more challenging than others. I learned quickly that my life is not for me, but for serving God. I realized that nothing I went through - or will go through - is in vain, and that my darkest moments would serve a purpose.
That was the true start of my spiritual journey.
My first introduction of spiritual living was about purpose, and the notion that God created us all for a divine reason. I had never before considered that thought. My curiosity longed to know more. I wanted to find out what God created me to do and why He kept me so safe. I wanted to experience His fullness after years of hearing about Him but never truly understanding who or what He was.
I set out to immerse myself completely in spirituality. I wanted to talk to God and I wanted to hear Him talk back.
The journey was…interesting. Just when I thought I was getting closer, the next day I felt so far. I spent much time thinking and trying to find counsel to help a beginning Christian like me, find community and closeness in the presence of God. I spent time trying to learn how to be led by Him and trying to identify the language God and I speak to each other. Some revelations I wrote; some I simply thought. But the more I dove into this life, the more I realized that 1. I was in it for the long haul (this journey toward spiritual living is not quick nor painless. It is a commitment and God [and Satan] will continuously test that commitment, and 2. No one deserves to go through this journey alone. In that very slight moment - because God’s time is infinite - I recognized that part of my purpose was to provide the help I longed for, to people in similar situations.
Even before embarking on this journey, I wrote. I chronicled my high school like on then-popular journaling site Xanga. It began in the days of Xanga when I tied up the phone lines to recount my day to my 70-something followers, or friends, or whatever they were called in those days. I didn’t care much about anything but making sure I wrote every moment I could.
I found even back then, writing is my outlet, and that became no different for the changes I began to experience. I frequently thought of the absence of women in my life who have embarked on this pursuit. So, my writing became less about what I’m going through and more about how what I went through can help what women may currently be going through. I wanted to be that someone, to a woman who didn’t have anyone. Although still therapeutic, I stopped writing for me and started writing for you. I hoped that my spiritual accounts, occurrences and lessons, would in some way inspire you. I hoped that it would either jump-start your journey, or help you in your journey – somehow, someway.
I kept pursuing Christ. I fell, got back up and dusted off. I continued on. And, one of the greatest things that came from this journey is that from learning about Christ, I learned about myself. From learning of Christ's love, I became capable of truly loving myself, and making decisions that manifested that love.
I wanted every woman to experience that. Whether you learned how to truly love yourself, learned how to love others, or learned how to be the you that you've always longed to be, I wanted to be part of that reason. I wanted to empower you. I wanted to lift you up on your weak days and dry you off after your storm. I wanted to fill your wine glass when it's time to celebrate. I wanted you to find comfort, love and friendship in my words. I wanted to write that one thing that changes the entire course of your life. I wanted you, to pursue a level of spirituality that not only brought you closer to God, but closer to yourself.
After careful thought, prayer and a few trips to my secret place, DEAR QUEENS was birthed - with love, compassion and Christ. So here I am, working to get you to see the beauty Christ sees in you; hoping to get you to live a fulfilled life rooted in spirituality, self-discovery, and purpose; and tirelessly encouraging you to make healthy decisions for your life.
I hope you enjoy this space, sis. But most importantly, I hope you enjoy this journey.