4 Tips for Releasing What No Longer Serves You
The new year presents an opportunity for many to shift course and change directions. As people draft tailored goals to achieve and new things to attain, others reflect on what they want to leave behind. As Michell Clark shared in his latest Instagram video, in order to make room for what’s to come, you must identify what to release.
You must let go of some things to create space for new things.
While I use ‘release’ and ‘let go’ interchangeably, it’s important to frame this process as a release. Release means to “set free” or “escape from confinement”. When we think of our decision to let go of something as a release, it essentially means to set ourselves free from what had us bound; in this way, releasing is a form of liberation. And when we release, we give what once was back to God, so He can return to us a new thing.
But how do you do so? Don’t worry, I got you covered.
Decide if this person, place, thing, or state of being is adding value.
The true testament to whether or not you should hold onto something is by assessing its value add. Is, even with its challenges, this person, place, habit, or thing adding benefit to your life? Is it delivering on your expectations? Is it stretching you in meaningful ways? Is it pushing you closer to your goals? Or, does it merely exist?
If what you’re holding onto isn’t offering any value, perhaps it’s time to let go. It’s not good enough that it’s not causing harm—that’s such a low bar—but is it contributing to your continued growth & development? If not, say goodbye.
And if you’re unsure if something should be released, or fought for, ask God.
Detach from what you thought would be.
I know I’m not the only one that goes into situations with grand expectations. Every decision is the best one I’ve ever made — until it’s not. Sometimes we enter a situation or relationship hoping for one thing and receiving another. In order to move forward, you must release the expectation of what you hoped for and see it for what it is. Once you do, leaving it behind will be that much easier.
Learn the lesson.
When we leave people, places, habits, and things behind it’s important to think about what they taught us. We know everything happens for a reason, so reflecting on said reason can help to realize that it’s served its purpose and that it’s okay to let it go.
Don’t keep anything past its expiration date.
Remember the why.
Sometimes when we release — people, especially — we decide to double back. We miss that person’s presence or the benefit of associating with them; and shortly after we revisit we’re reminded why we left in the first place. Don’t let this be you (again). As you push forward, continue to remind yourself why you let go in the first place. Stand firm in the truth that releasing was better than holding on. If it’s helpful, write down why you chose to release and what you hope to gain in its place. This can serve as a reference for the days you want it (or them) back.
Letting go isn’t easy. Over the past year and a half I’ve shed many layers; I’ve released many old renditions of myself and the people that reminded me of that person. I let go of people, places, and things — and while I may have looked back momentarily, I never went back.
Dead-end relationships, self-deprecating habits, clothes that don’t fit, negative thoughts, and the other things in your life that aren’t adding value, don’t deserve to be there. They’re not equipped to go with you in your season of elevation. So let them go and leave them there — for good.