The new year presents an opportunity for many to shift course and change directions. As people draft tailored goals to achieve and new things to attain, others reflect on what they want to leave behind. As Michell Clark shared in his latest Instagram video, in order to make room for what’s to come, you must identify what to release.
You must let go of some things to create space for new things.
Read MoreBetween ages 26-29 you couldn’t tell me a thing about myself. I was full of love, comfortable with who I was, and shooting authenticity to whoever would catch it. But as I neared the end of that decade and A-town stomped into my 30’s, God began exposing the hidden things within me.
As more and more of my flaws and vulnerabilities came flooding to the surface (with God’s full intent to heal me from them), I started to cower in fear. Luckily, learning this one thing helped me face that fear head on.
Read MoreThis journey hasn’t been as soft as you thought it would, huh?
Instagram makes it look so peaceful, as if this awakening presents itself carefully and graciously. No one tells you how it’ll whip you around. How it’ll toss you back and forth between knowing yourself and having no idea who you’ve become. Between being pleased with your growth and utterly confused at what’s happening to you.
No one tells you the pain that comes from pushing through the soil so victoriously. But truly it’s worth it, and below are a few things I’ve learned about that journey toward victory.
Read More“Don’t ‘all lives matter’ your brand,” she said.
I’ve been feeling uninspired for the past year and a half, so I decided to find solace in other outlets. I decided to sharpen my gift as a writer on other major sites. It was fun getting paid for my gift; fun writing about a slew of topics that didn’t connect to the mission here.
It was in 2010 when I realized that establishing work friendships was important. I had started working at my second internship which was — at that point in my life — the closest to full-time work I had experienced. The office was preparing to launch a major initiative that my co-worker and I were hired to coordinate. Both of us were college students. Neither of us had any experience doing something like this.
While he and I grew closer, I found myself retreating to an older black woman to help me process and handle the hardships of the project.
Read MoreAbout a year ago, I wrote about how the constant chase for more is ruining our present moment. Many overachievers tend to bypass the enjoyment of their current moment, in pursuit of what’s next. This is, admittedly, a habit that’s hard to break. With constant reminders of how short life is, and how great everyone on the internet seems to be, it’s no wonder we’re all rushing to reach our destiny.
Being taught “you have to be twice as good to get half of what they have,” was the beginning of my perfectionism. The saying that permeates the walls of black homes taught me two things: 1. I need to work extra hard, and 2. I cannot mess up. A microscope was on me, as a black woman, to do things right and to do things well.
This became evident in all my professional roles.
Read MoreI wrapped up a client meeting and went to meet a few friends from college for drinks. These guys were my lifeline during my last two years. I didn’t quite trust many women—most of them wanted to be my friend to gain entry into my sorority—so I resulted to my amazing roommates and these guys. We dubbed ourselves the “frat house”, and I was the first and only lady every admitted to the crew.
Read MoreI thought I learned a lot in my relationship. We came from very different walks of life, so I thought learning how to work together and deal with our differences taught me everything I needed to know about building a budding relationship. I just knew I had been stretched as far as I could have been with everything we went through together. But the years following our relationship transformed me into a woman I never thought to become.
Read MoreI muscled into my hotel room with great disappointment after turning down a lunch date with colleagues. It was a long walk from the convention center to the Westin, so I had plenty of time to think about what I had just done. I needed a listening ear and a loving heart, but as I entered the room to explain my error to my best friend, nothing came out. I was so upset at myself that I couldn’t even express how I felt.
Read More“Hey, our online request form is down. Can you help resolve?” I asked. A critical function of our office is being able to process certain requests in a timely manner. In this situation, however, we were unable to receive requests because that part of the site was down. It hadn’t even been 24-hours before we started receiving frantic e-mails from students and alums who had tried to access the form but were met with this roadblock.
There was no solution at the end of her e-mail. No alternative she was willing to offer up.
Read More“Is it just me?”, “Am I crazy?”
I’ve gotten so used to second guessing the validity of my opinions, even as it specifically pertains to my own experiences that it becomes almost necessary to hear out loud, that I’m not alone.
Read MoreFor as long as I can remember I’ve been presented with these false narratives. Narratives that perpetrated the belief that women are catty, jealous, bitter, and incapable of nurturing and maintaining genuine relationships with each other. We have of course also been presented with positive displays of sisterhood in movies, television, and magazines. I just couldn’t help but notice the overwhelming number of portrayals that depict women in a light that made it seem slightly unrealistic for women to possess drama-free, healthy, and stable relationships.
Read MoreMy aunt’s voice was unusually stern. Her brown locks swung past her shoulders as she waited for me to do it that very second. So, I did. I placed my right hand on my left breast and felt a lump the size of a chickpea. I opened my eyes and jumped out of bed.
It was only a dream, right? There’s no way I have a lump in my breast. Not after my dad died. Not after the way my dad died.
Read MoreDo you know how amazing it is to be surrounded by such beautiful, smart, fun and resilient women? Words can’t even begin to describe it. I’ve been so blessed to have such great friends that sometimes I forget many women have never and will never experience the beauty of friendship. Some don’t even desire to have a sisterhood. Casting friendships aside because of petty differences and unnecessary drama.
Read MoreYetti is the first to notice that I’m on mimosa number three. I’m mid-pour, with my eyes down, dousing my internal fire with glass after glass of alcohol. She bores holes into my eyelids for a full thirty seconds before I allow her eyes to catch mine. She twists her face into a shame-on-you scowl, then clears her throat and laughs. I shrug and laugh with her.
“I need a banana. Bring me one?”
I told her I didn’t have time but would try tomorrow. I never had the opportunity. Twenty-four hours later the sound of her voice was silenced by a breathing machine. They strapped her hand to the bed rail because she kept taking the tube out of her mouth.
Read MoreI found it on the internet, buried within the comment section of a rant that highlighted my lack of self-confidence and my continued battle with Imposter Syndrome. It was subtle yet affirming, and to be honest, it went slightly over-looked. My dwellings on the internet was simply a space for me to unravel without the people I knew in real life catching a glimpse of my vulnerability. But that comment was just the beginning of something very permanent.
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